Trick or Treat?!

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nov-1  This Halloween turned out to be “trick-less” for me and I’m not kidding. What the heck is wrong with kids these days?! First, they show up at my door and pound continuously until I answer. Give me a break, children. I’m coming! I’m just old and have to roll off the couch to get there. So then, I answer and the kid just stares at me. I stare back. There is an awkward silence until I relent and deposit a Kit-Kat into his bucket. He stares at me once again and then cuts across the lawn to the next place. This happened with nearly every goblin who graced our house this year. I think the words you are searching for are “Trick or Treat”! At the very least, give me a “thank you” upon your departure. Hell, at this point I would even take a smile. Rude!! I can excuse the younger ones but the older kids should know better. I really felt a great urge to start beaming them in the forehead with their fun size treats. This morning I was blessed with the added joy of cleaning up candy wrappers from all over the yard. That’s it. Next year I’m going to be one of those moms who hands out dental floss. There’s a fun size treat for ya- plaque on a string.

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Candy vs. Teeth

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candy   Have you noticed that the stores already have Easter candy out?? I don’t even know when Easter is this year but I do know that I love Easter candy so I am ok with it. I get through the year on holiday candy. You know, all the good stuff. In January we are still munching on candy canes and chocolate treats from Christmas. Then, we get to move on to conversation hearts. Next, it is off to Easter and those scrumptious Cadbury Eggs. The summer does bring on a bit of a dry spell. But, we can power our way through with popsicles and drumsticks. We move on to candy corn and then back to the Christmas treats. It is now becoming clear why I gain 5 pounds each year (alright, 10) and have nothing to wear for the holidays. But, I am pleasantly plump. Ok, just plump. This year however I have discovered why they can get that holiday candy out so early and so quickly. IT IS THE SAME CANDY FROM LAST YEAR! Or maybe even a year or two before. It is brick hard and I am busting my darn teeth on this crap. Isn’t my potential diabetes enough of a risk? Now I have to take the chance of losing a tooth just to enjoy a sugary treat. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take that chance. But, it would be nicer if retailers could just get us some fresh candy!! Or, charge me the price the candy was three years ago when it was new. If I lose a tooth, I will just shove a white chiclet in there or something…

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