Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #8

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Thanksgiving: To eat or to shop?! Bring on the turkey!

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #7

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Did the thought of the big bad wolf coming to eat you give you the chills?? It should! Life is full of scary stuff…

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #6

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Are you able to put together some impossible craft because Pinterest told you to?? Me either…

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #5

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Morning all! How about that dislike button they are talking about for Facebook? What do I think? Oh, glad you asked…

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #4

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Good Morning! Ever notice the rage floating around the world these days?! Why is that?? Here is one theory…

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Wake Up and Smell the Coffee- #3

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Hello! A quick message today for all of those young lovebirds out there… This one’s called For the Love of Corn. May YOUR veggies be readily available…

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #2

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Today’s topic- Passwords!! I couldn’t remember mine to save my life. How about you?? Ok, I was having some technical difficulties today finding a camera that would work so my head is a little cut off (it’s big!) but hey, you don’t need to see the top of my head to see my lips flapping. Enjoy…

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Wake Up and Smell The Coffee- #1

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Hello All! I have launched myself right into the world of vlogging! That’s right, I’m hip. Ha, Ha! I am SO tech-savy, the first video only took me about 6 hours to produce…But, I’m not ready for the home just yet. All of my vlogs will be hosted on my youtube channel: Wake Up and Smell The Coffee! Today’s topic: YOLO and Other Ridiculousness. I hope you enjoy…

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Momentarily Checking-Out

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walmart hell  You know those moments we experience when we completely lose it for a few minutes? I prefer to have mine in a public place for all to see. No sense going into a rage unless all can enjoy it. I like to look like an ass in the middle of Wal-Mart. There is just something about that place that grabs onto all of your sensibilities and throws them out the window. Here is one of my latest rants…

So there I was at Wal-Mart, a half an hour behind. One kid was begging me for Monster High Dolls (don’t even get me started) and the other one has a fresh load in her diaper. It is hot, they are both crabby and their mother hasn’t had a full night’s rest in at least two years. Between the family reunions in the aisles and the lack of stocked shelves, I was getting more irritable by the minute. Hordes of people were everywhere getting ripped off by the latest “Back to School” specials. I am driving one of those massive carts with the seats for the kids to sit in just so I can keep them quiet and corralled for 10 minutes while I get a few necessary items. Needless to say, that piece of crap cart DOES NOT STEER well and forget about turning around or making any quick stops.

I finally complete my shopping minus the items I can’t find and have stopped searching for. Now, I am flying down the aisle trying to beat the other stooges to the checkout line. Suddenly, The Wal-Mart Wax Man is headed in my direction. You know him. He’s that guy on the huge machine attempting to shine a floor that’s dirtier than a toilet seat. He has nowhere to be and all day to get there. He is headed right towards me. One side of him is loaded with shoppers so I go for his other side that appears to be uncluttered. Right as I go to make my move, he sternly tells me “It would be better for me if you would go on the other side!” I immediately blurt out (loudly), “It would be better for me if you would get the hell out of my way!” I know. Ok, I’m sorry for the rudeness. But, why are you waxing the floor at the busiest location of the store, at one of the busiest times of the year and at the busiest time of the day?!? After I yelled at him he said “Oh, I am sorry ma’am.” Then, I really felt like shit. Other customers were also starting to stare but I think that was mainly because I had slammed my big ass cart into the jewelry case and stuff was rattling around. Hey, I told you that thing wouldn’t steer.

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I Need A Big Gulp!

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Big GulpToday I went to Target to pick up an item I saw online. Of course when I arrive, they don’t have that item or anything even remotely similar. Typical. So, I think ok, I will just grab a drink quick and get going. I head to the checkout stand with only one person in line and she only has 1 item, score! Not quite. Even though this woman only has 1 item, she proceeds to apply for a Target card right then and there. 10 minutes later, I am still standing in the speedy checkout. Don’t people realize they are being rude? Couldn’t she apply online or at the customer service desk or something? But, that’s ok, I still smile and wait…The couple behind me are really getting irritated and start in with the heavy sighs. The clerk then proceeds to get pissed off and yells at us that someone can help us on check stand 10. I looked at the couple and said, “Hey, if you want to risk it, go ahead. I am not falling for that one again because the line you move to will suck also and may even be worse!” The woman said, “That’s funny!” They moved, I proceeded to wait. My turn finally arrived. On my way out of the store I smiled at the couple that had moved and were STILL waiting. The moral of the story is; Target misses the bullseye. This is why you buy your beverage at the gas station. Or, the liquor store…

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