Please Check Your Internet Connection And Try Again

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Modern technology can be difficult and I’m not just talking about using it. I’m talking about obtaining it. I have been trying to acquire an internet connection at a commercial building that I am renting for about a month now (which for us internet junkies is the equivalent of one year at least). Here’s the progress so far…

I call the first internet company. ME: “I’m calling because I’d like to set up a new internet connection.” THEM: “Well, I don’t know. What is your address?!” I give the required information and I am told that they don’t provide service in my area. ME: “Oh, ok. Thank you for your time.” THEM: “I can set you up with a package deal of phone, internet and tv.” ME: “But you don’t provide internet in my area?” THEM: “Correct.” ME: “No thanks, the internet is what I need the most.” THEM: “How about high speed at 1/2 the price for 6 months?!” ME: ?!?** I once again decline even though high speed of nothing is quite tempting.

I call the second internet company. ME: “I’m calling because I’d like to set up a new internet connection.” THEM: “It will be at least a week and a half before we can get a tech out.” ME: “Alright, I guess I’ll have to wait then.” We get the appointment set up. Sort of. A date is set but the time is “Sometime between 8 am and 5 pm”. Good. Glad we could get that nailed down. On the day of the appointment, I sit at the building waiting for many hours. A call to the office assures me that “He’s out there.” Out where, exactly? Out in the country? In outer space? And, are we still talking about internet installation? Now it sounds like he might be “out there” spying on people from the bushes or luring little kids into an ice cream truck. When I finally decide to leave at 6 pm, “he” may have been “out there” but he never showed his face at my place.

When I get home, I angrily call the company for a refund or at least an explanation. ME: “My tech never arrived.” THEM: “You could have checked online to see where your tech was at.” ME: “How, exactly? I had no internet.” THEM: “Your tech will call if they are going to be late.” ME: “They never showed at all and no call either.” THEM: “Our techs are very busy.” ME: “I certainly understand that but I’m wondering when someone might be able to come?” THEM: “Two weeks from now or more.” When I then ask for a refund of the $175 I have already paid them I am told “NO refunds until we get the modem back”. ME: “I have NO modem!” THEM: “What did you do with it?!” ME: “Nothing! I never had one because nobody ever showed up to give me one!” THEM: “I’ll have to connect you with my manager.” The conversation did not improve.

I call the third internet company. ME: “I’m calling because I’d like to set up a new internet connection.” THEM: “Sure, let’s get you scheduled!” Oh, progress! On the appointment day someone actually shows up! Unfortunately, he says he can’t “see” the tower from there because it is a gloomy day so he doesn’t know if it will work or not. He tells me he will be back next week to “look again”. I can’t wait. I guess all I can do is stare up to the sky and pray to the internet Gods. Wish me luck…

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