Stars, Stripes and Trucker Hats

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trucker hat     As we celebrate America’s 240th Birthday, all I ask is one thing… Can we PLEASE keep the redneck antics down to a dull roar?? Yes we are Americans and hell yes, we should be proud of it. So, I am all for parades, fireworks shows, waving old glory and gathering with friends. On the other hand, there are several staple activities I for one could stand to see a little less of. Here are just a few…

Wearing flags as clothing. I actually saw a girl wearing nothing but a flag as a dress accompanied by a pair of cowboy boots. I doubt she is neither patriotic or a cowboy, but there she was flaunting it down main street. I have also seen American flags used as blankets, curtains and car covers. Let’s keep the flag on the pole where it belongs.

The battle of “My fireworks are the Best”. People spend thousands of dollars on fireworks each year. WHY?? Someone else has already handled that for you and puts on a display for everyone. Your show is not needed or appreciated. But, there are always two hillbillies in the Kmart parking lot jockeying for the trophy. It typically ends in a fist fight and at least one or two digits blown off. Yes, you are winners for sure. And, thanks for keeping us up all night in the name of Lady Liberty.

A few less drunken uncles and cousins. Wherever you find 4th of July festivities, you will also find cousin Billy passed out in one of those aluminum lawn chairs and sun burnt to a crisp wearing a “I Love America” trucker hat. Pabst beer is the blue ribbon winner after all so, I guess in some small way that counts as patriotic. Go ahead and enjoy, but stop before you are drooling and pissing yourself.

So today, let’s be American. Let’s just not be stupid Americans. The politicians already have that covered…

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