Technology has beat me down again; this time in the form of my credit and debit cards. Lucky me, all of my cards expired at the end of January. Yes, ALL of them. So now I am a hobo with no cash (pretty much the same thing I was before). But now, I have no identity either. My debit card never arrived even though I remember filling out a change of address form last year. I didn’t sweat it too much. But when two other cards never arrived either, I had to start wondering what the hell is going on? I don’t know if it is the fault of the companies or the fault of the fabulous U. S. Postal service but something isn’t right. How can 3 different cards NEVER arrive? We have a locked mailbox. We also have a mailwoman who I am convinced is a binge drinker (often on the job). You do the math.
I first called the card company for the card with the most money on it. So, I call and wait for 30 minutes to talk to a human. I have entered all of my personal information already and answered security questions. A woman who speaks very little English comes on the line. She asks me a series of more questions for “security purposes”. I answer those as well. I explain the situation and finally get her to understand. She looks up the address on file and it is in fact the address I currently live at. She tells me that they mailed my new card on Dec. 15th. I said ok, but I never received it! She tells me I will have to file for a replacement. Why do I have to file for anything? You messed up, not me. In order to file for a replacement, you need to have a driver’s license with your current address. Well, of course my license has my old address on it. I ask if there is another way. She said if I had 3 forms of another kind of ID and a current bill that I could fax those in but only after a 5 day waiting period. I start getting a bit irritated because now this sounds like work. She gets snippy with me and says this is to ensure MY safety. Well congratulations morons, you have ensured that the authorized user of the account can’t gain access to it. I feel so much better now.