Too Many Chefs In The Kitchen

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chef   My daughter is obsessed with the Chef. Chef Boyardee that is. Yep, pasta in a can. We should own stock in the company. A while ago the “easy open lids” came out on these cans of yuckiness. Right. Because it was so HARD to use a can opener? Who was having a difficult time with that task? They may need more help than an easy open lid. I have never been a fan of the extra “help”. I am a pro with a can opener and I don’t appreciate your condescending attitude, Mr. Chef. Then, the lids disappeared for a while and we were back to the primitive open your own can status. I was thrilled. Now, there is a need for me in the world again. But recently, out of nowhere, the easy open lids are back. Things have taken a turn for the worse. The easy open lid is a pullback tab. It DOES seem like it should be easy. It is not. Here’s why. I am trying to get into this damn can early in the morning so the Chef can grace my daughter’s lunch bag. I have only had a couple hours of sleep but I figure one eye open is all that is necessary for this task. I pull on the tab and off comes the tab in my hand but the can’s lid is still tightly in place. I cuss, pull out my yesteryear can opener and flip the can over. They have ensured I can’t access the can that way by putting some huge lip around the edge so my can opener can’t go on. I flip the can back. I try for 15 minutes to get in as I go over and over it with my can opener finding no success. Next, I get out the steak knife and try to pry my way in through that one little notch I have finally established. It takes some extra pressure but I make a little progress. I now grab onto the lid and bend it back. It eventually goes but spaghetti has splashed all over me, the counter, the fridge, the microwave, etc. More cussing. At this point I realize I have cut my finger and I am dripping blood into the spaghetti. Oh well red is red, right? I wrap my finger in a paper towel and continue on to eventual success. Easy open tab?? You suck, Chef.

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