Zip It!

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zip it   I’m not a fan of unsolicited advice. If I want your opinion, I will ask for it. Otherwise, zip it. Maybe you are trying to be helpful, maybe you are just a jerk. Either way, I can do without it. People will tell you how to do anything from potty training to improving your sex life. I think one of the worst things we do as a society is freak the hell out of expecting mothers. They get told horror stories about the pain of labor and how it took 3 days for that baby to finally come out. We tell them how they will never sleep again, go on a date, have sex or ever get back to their pre-pregnancy weight. Now while all of these things may be true (except for the 3 day birth, I hope), they just don’t need to be said. Why spoil the illusion of eternal bliss before it’s time?

Speaking of things that don’t need to be said, us large people know that we are large. Thank you so much for noticing though. I actually got mooed at by a group of High School boys. I was thinking “Hey, I have my big coat on and these are the pants that make my butt look big” (it was laundry day). But, I just laughed and went on my way. I’d rather be a happy cow than an unhappy fashion model. Ok, not really but you have to play the cards you were dealt. Plus, I can’t resist cheesecake, or chocolate, or fries, or mashed potatoes…

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