Early Bird Special


Early-Bird   Another day, another horrific shopping experience at Wal-Mart. This time I didn’t even have to be in the store for the crap to start. It happened the moment I turned into the parking lot. Why are people such raging lunatics when it comes to a parking space? It feels like high noon and the showdown has begun. I saw a spot fairly close to the front so I go for it. A truck clear at the other end of the row floors it and pulls in right in front of me puffing diesel smoke in my face. Ok, plan b. I find a spot in the next row and head there. Someone is actually standing in the spot “saving it for a friend” (her own words). Since when were we allowed to save a parking spot for a friend?? I really just wanted to run the pretty little thing down but I still smiled and drove for another 15 minutes trying to find a parking space (Yes, I could have just taken a spot at the rear of the parking lot but that isn’t how I roll). I find a primo spot and make my move. Out of nowhere one of those tiny wannabe cars flies in front of me. I notice the sign says it is “Senior Parking Only” so I think ok, no big deal. I couldn’t have parked there anyway and this geezer needs it more than I do. But then some punk gets out, flicks his cigarette on the ground and briskly walks into the store. I am more of a senior than you are!! I have two kids, haven’t slept a full night in years, bags under my eyes, sagging boobs, fading memory and arthritis. So, if I see another youngster trying to steal my old lady spot I am kicking some butt (with my cane if necessary)!! I finally did find a parking spot and damn near got ran over by another lunatic. 30 mph is an unacceptable speed for the parking lot.  SLOW DOWN, there are seniors walking here.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Leave a Reply