All She Wants To Do Is Dance

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tampon commercial   Why are women always dancing around in commercials for tampons? And, they are all smiles. We are talking big shit eating grins on their faces. What the hell are they so happy about? Yippee, I’m a woman! I don’t know about you but I have never been overjoyed by menstruation and I don’t know of any other ladies who prance when their monthly friend arrives. The real view of PMS wouldn’t sell very well except on the Sci-Fi channel. Imagine a woman beached on the couch wearing no bra, using sweats as pants for the day, ho-ho in hand, acne on her face, foaming at the mouth and just waiting for someone to comment on any of these points. I guess some women have an easier go with it than others but I don’t think anyone is dancing a jig because they can bleed.

For a while, Playtex made some tampons that were scented (maybe they still do). They were pink and the smell was so distinctive (florally), you could smell someone on the rag 2 miles away. Not exactly my idea of “fresh scent”. I just remember the girls’ locker room after high school gym class. All you could smell in that place was rose scented tampons and Navy perfume. I love when a company will advertise “Now, with better absorbency!” Well thanks a lot buttheads. Here I have been ruining countless pairs of underwear for years when all along you could have made a better product! Did you know the tampons we use today were invented by a man? I don’t even want to know how he came up with that idea.

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