The Dating Game

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dating game   I am SO thankful that I am not in the dating world anymore. Sure, I get to listen to chainsaw snoring nightly, pick up dirty socks off of the floor constantly and find containers with one teaspoon of food left in the refrigerator but overall, life is pretty good. I don’t know how people are still finding mates out there. I didn’t like people very much to begin with. Now that millions more are at my fingertips through the internet, I like them even less. I have never tried online dating but I guess that is working for some people? Seems a bit risky to me. “Self-employed, easy going, teddy bear who is family oriented is seeking a woman to complete his life” roughly translates to: unemployed, lazy, overweight man who lives  in his mom’s basement needs a woman to take care of him. And, beware of the profile picture! Even if it is actually them, we all can look good in at least one photo can’t we?! What year was this photo taken in??

Alright, so if you can’t find your special someone online, where do you find them? The bar? We have all tried this tactic. Because of course you will find a man who is handsome, employed, straight, intelligent, kind and a non-drunk just sitting at the bar waiting for you. What you are more likely to find is one guy that is below average and 3 other girls who want to fight you for him (could be more, subject to closing time). You wake up the next morning with a pounding headache, a much lighter bank account and still no Mr. Wonderful. On a side note: I met my husband at the bar. He tried to run but I can run faster than he can.  

Maybe you could have a friend set you up? This is not advised, especially if they are single. Obviously they thought this guy wasn’t good enough for them but he would be “perfect” for you. Thanks a lot, sister. If she is married, the only guys she knows are her husband’s Super Bowl party buddies and that dork from the mailroom at work. Run.

People often suggest that you could meet someone at the supermarket or at church. If some guy is cruising the produce aisle looks for chicks, he sounds like a creeper. And, unless you are already a religious person, church may not be the answer unless you are ready to convert. You can’t very well say “hey, I was only going to church to meet you, I don’t really love God after all.” What if you start dating a parishioner and it doesn’t work out?? That pool is going to dry up pretty quickly.

I don’t know what we’re left with. The mailman? A guy that stops to help you change your flat tire? Bingo night at the Senior Center? Pickings are slim. Good luck, ladies (and gentleman)!

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