Do you ever find yourself yelling at the self checkout machine? We dread the idea of having to deal with that creep but when we see the length of the other lines we figure it will be faster, right?! It seldom is. Because once we get there the machine refuses to cooperate. Lately I keep ending up at one that is a credit card only option. This huge red message will pop up on the screen and it will keep asking me if I want to continue? Here’s an idea store owners; program the machine to accept MONEY, in all forms. You do want to make some, right? Once I finally arrive at a machine that accepts something I call cash, next comes the constant battle of “please place the item in the bagging area!” Ok, I did that like fifteen times but it won’t register. I feel obligated to scream at the machine, “I did that!” It doesn’t seem to comprehend the message. I get frustrated and keep hitting the “I don’t want to bag item” button. After a few times of that some alarm goes off and a customer service person has to come over and help the idiot. It never fails that I have chosen some item that doesn’t have the proper bar code on it. Once again, here comes the service person looking a little more disgusted every time she has to deal with me. I start to panic as those behind me are getting impatient but the faster I try to go, the more problems I run into. Pretty soon the machine starts yelling at me for some foolish move I have made and I just freeze and stare at it. Here comes the service patrol again. She starts scanning the item for me as I look on like a helpless child. The others behind me stare in shame. I have failed at one of the simplest tasks, paying for groceries. I knew I should have played more “store” as a child. I suck at this.