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mapHave you ever been truly lost? I don’t mean like “Where am I headed in life?”. I mean literally lost, no idea where in the hell you are. I don’t think this happens to many people, at least not since childhood. It happens to me quite a bit. There are two reasons for this: I am incapable of reading a map and, I do not comprehend directions.

Let’s start with the map problem. Mainly, I am already irritated just unfolding it because the thing is attacking me and it is winning. I don’t understand the conversion of those little lines into actual miles and if I don’t know where I am now, how do I know how to get somewhere else? Some lines are solid, some are squiggly, all pretty colors, a few weird symbols and in the end; none of it means crap to me.

Directions, I do ask for them, sometimes. But, it never helps. My husband says it is a communication barrier between men and women. Men give directions logically like: keep heading North for 2 miles, take a right at the stop sign and cross the train tracks. Women give directions like: keep driving until you see the pretty blue house with the daisies out front. Turn there and when you see a bridge by the red barn, turn again. It’s true that North, South, West and East really don’t mean that much to me and once it gets dark outside, I could drive in circles for 2 hours really thinking that I am getting somewhere. One day my directional skills may improve (not likely) but in the meantime, I am just enjoying the journey of the trip.

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