The Loaded Diaper

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loaded diaper     It’s a busy evening at your local restaurant. The tables are all full, you have just sat down, finished ordering your food and are enjoying your beverages. It seems like a nice evening out with your family. Then, it hits. POOP time. My daughter hates to take a poop and makes a big production out it. First, she puts on the beet red tomato face. Next comes the grunting as she starts to squeeze it out and finally, she screams bloody murder to finish the production. It’s scarier than a scene from The Exorcist. There is nothing that quiets her down until the deed is done. Many faces have stared at me in disbelief or disgust as I have rushed off to the women’s restroom for the dreaded diaper change. Forget the fact that the whole place thinks my daughter is demon spawn, here’s my dilemma. What is the proper etiquette when it comes to a loaded diaper? We are talking toxic waste here. I always feel bad tossing it into the garbage can to stink up the place but what else are you going to do with it? Drop it in your purse for later? After we have run everyone off with the stench, I sheepishly enter the world again. Should I tell someone about the stink bomb we just left so they can take that garbage out? Or, do I just run and try to forget yet another traumatic poop event? Maybe they could start putting some of those disposable bags in the restrooms so I could wrap it up before I toss it. You know, like they have at the dog park? Yikes. The next time my daughter smells food, she is at it again. I guess the smart and polite thing to do would be to keep my ass home until she is potty trained. Then, at least we can flush at the end of the production.

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