Bad Baby Names

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stork 2     If there is one thing that the millennium  has brought us, it is a slew of horrible baby names! Why would you want your kid to be constantly tormented or worse yet, never even know how to spell their own name (and nobody else can ever pronounce it)? New parents make lots of bad name choices, here are just a few of my favorites:

JESUS– seriously? Who wants the stress of trying to live up to that name?? I have seen GOD used a few times also. LUCIFER– probably easier to live up to but maybe we could wait until the kids are about 15 and then decide if they are a “Jesus” or a “Lucifer”. I am not sure this can ever turn out well…

TULSA– or any other “location” name. I just instantly think that the child must have been conceived there and it instantly grosses me out, TMI!

APPLE– or any other “food” name. Do you want people to eat your child??

SNOW– or any other “weather report”. We want a kids’ name, not the forecast.

PRETTY– no pressure or anything…

RAMBO–  what if he just wants to play golf?

VADER– this has been done, and probably better.

BERTHA– this is synonymous with “Please Beat Me Up”.

RIDDICK– not only was this bad one time but it never fails he will be the III.

ZAC’AREE– (pronounced Zachary)- why the hell couldn’t you just name him Zachary? Is this one the fancy version?

I think it’s time to bring back the classics like Ann, Mary, John or Mark. Why does it have to be so complicated? I think my daughter believes her name is “No!” or “Stop That!”.

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