Shorts Season


sunWith Mother Nature showing a warmer side, more people are dressing for the change. The outfits and looks for hot weather never fail to scare the crap out of me. Since when did it become acceptable to wear lingerie outside of the bedroom and claim it is a tank top or a dress? How about a smidgen of fabric covering each nipple and calling it a bikini top? Don’t even get me started on the thongs. Why would you want a string up your butt all day long?? And then, let’s try to go swimming with that epidemic? No thank you. Also, even in nice weather, a bra is REQUIRED if you have boobs. And pretty please, if you plan to wear a tank top, shave your pits!!!

Sunless tanning lotion. Just DON’T DO IT! You will look orange and pathetic and nobody is going to be in awe of your supposedly awesome tan. And, everywhere you sit will be stained in oil. So, I come along and need a place to park my butt and have to wipe off my seat first. Don’t sit out in the sun until you look like a shriveled up old prune either. It’s not healthy and it’s not attractive. Daisy Dukes. They can be sexy but only IF you have the body and never at a family reunion, church or work. But, don’t be surprised when men are drooling all over you. Why act offended? That’s what you were going for right?

Most of us will be too big and too white for the season. Don’t sweat it. Be comfortable in your own skin and get out there and enjoy the world.

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