Top 12 Products NOT to Buy Generic…You WILL Pay

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generic cereal What’s in a name?? We all want to save a few bucks by being a thrifty shopper. And often, the generic brand is just as good. But for a few items, the generic brand will bite you in the ass. So, don’t be fooled! Here are some products you shouldn’t skimp on and why:

1. Duct Tape (the real stuff). It’s the only thing that will get the job done. If it actually has a picture of a duck on it, it won’t even stick to itself.

2. Jeans. Sure, you can save a little cash by going generic but, you will look like a total idiot. They will feel like cardboard, rub against your thighs until you get a rash and they will NEVER fit properly.

3. Alcohol. Unless you don’t have any taste buds left, generic booze won’t do. Even hobos don’t fill their sack with that stuff. And, did I mention the headache?

4. Diapers. When you’ve got a loaded one, brand matters. Generic ones don’t fit properly and the green poop explosion will squish out the diaper and up the baby’s back. Then, your only real option is to just hose them off.

5. Paper Products. When the kid has just spilled Kool-Aid all over, you don’t want to be using a paper towel that won’t soak it up and rips into pieces. How about toilet paper? That one ply stuff will not do the job. Now, your ass is still dirty and so is your hand.

6. Garbage Bags. Coffee grounds, used Kleenex, old food, it’s all in there. And now, it’s all over your floor too if you went with the cheap brand.

7. Cereal. It does NOT taste the same. The kids will hate it too. There is a big difference between Cocoa Puffs and Chocolatey O’s.

8. Kids Backpacks. All the kids want the cool backpack with the latest cartoon character on it. But, Sophia the First is a plastic piece of crap and the straps will rip right off. If you choose one of these for the school year, plan on buying 3 or 4.

9. Toys. The remote control car that is attached to the remote is never any fun. Neither is the one piece plastic Barbie with legs and arms that don’t move. Her head however will pop off.

10. Cheese. Ever wondered what cardboard tastes like? Now, you know. If it ain’t Kraft, it’s probably no good.

11. Crayons/Pencils. Generic crayons don’t color! So, you keep pressing down harder and then the damn thing busts in half. Generic pencils don’t sharpen properly and then the lead keeps busting. That’s ok though because the eraser doesn’t work either. It will leave big red blotches on your paper or rip a big hole in it.

12. Saran Wrap. This stuff is frustrating enough. Try using the generic brand and you will end up with nothing but a big wad of crap you have to throw away (and a bloody stub). Now, where is that Tupperware lid?

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