It’s Valentine’s Day again. Time to spend $5 on a mushy greeting card that will be promptly thrown in the trash and $70 on flowers that will die in a week. Here’s a few more things that I find weird about this celebration. Feel free to add yours in the comments!
-If you aren’t in a deep, meaningful relationship, you are out. It’s a day about love. Can’t I say I LOVE me and still indulge on a big box of chocolates?
-What’s with the enormous greeting cards available for purchase? These babies are like 3 ft. tall. What is a person supposed to do with that? Is it a poster? A fly swatter? A pancake flipper? It’s garbage. That’s all.
-Over 1 billion greeting cards will be exchanged today. So much for going green. I guess nobody LOVES Mother Earth.
-Demon: mischievous little creature running around with a pitchfork. Cupid: mischievous little creature running around with a bow and arrow. Coincidence??
-Ok. How about the Gigantic teddy bears? Is it a pillow? A beanbag chair? A tool for smothering another person (probably the person who gave it to you)? Nobody has room for this beast. Leave it at the store.
-9 million pet owners buy a Valentine’s Day gift for their pets. Maybe that’s why these 9 million people don’t have a real valentine.
-King Henry VIII declared February 14th as a holiday in 1537. Isn’t this the guy who killed most of his wives?? I guess he had a little different view on what is “romantic”.
-About 10% of marriage proposals take place on Valentine’s Day. Could you BE any less original? Did you know that on a leap year (Feb. 29th), a woman can ask a man to marry her? Now, if she could just find a man that isn’t afraid of commitment. You’ve got about a year ladies. The next one is in 2016.
Well, whether you’re happily coupled or happily single (or, just hanging in there), Happy Valentine’s Day. Now, go have some chocolate. Or wine. Wine is good too. What the hell, splurge and have both!!
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