Funny Sayings

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listen up I love old saying and proverbs. They provide a good message. But, taken literally, they can be pretty funny. Here’s a couple of my favorites:

-“You can’t have your cake and eat it too!” What? Well then I don’t want any damn cake. That is just torture!

-“I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth!” Have you been out talking to Mr. Ed again? How old is that horse anyway??

-“A picture paints a thousand words.” Actually, a picture doesn’t paint anything. It just sits there looking pretty.

-“A penny for your thoughts.” How come, after all of these years, the price hasn’t gone up with inflation? My thoughts are worth much more than a penny (maybe not).

-“Don’t count your chickens before the eggs have hatched.” I don’t plan on counting my chickens at all, I don’t have any. But, even if I did, that seems like a pretty daunting task.

-“Don’t let the cat out of the bag.” You want me to just leave him in there? Who put it in there in the first place? Pretty cruel.

-“You’ll get a taste of your own medicine!” Alright. I really didn’t want a taste of someone else’s medicine. That wasn’t prescribed for me.

-“I wouldn’t be caught dead doing that!” Would you be caught dead doing anything except laying there?

-“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” How many baskets do you think I can carry? I have to get these eggs in the house so I can start counting those chickens…

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