Living in Montana, people often complain about the frigid, never-ending winters. I’m with ya. It is inevitable that we will run out of milk or diapers on the coldest damn day of the year. After unburying the car from a few feet of snow, I find the windows still covered in rock hard ice. 20 minutes later and with no feeling in my fingers, I can finally proceed to the store. Next, I get stuck in our parking lot and have to find a neighbor kind enough to shove me out. I arrive at the store and my butt falls right down on the ice in the parking lot. Now, I am limping and look like I pissed myself (I didn’t, really!). This may not be the most fun you have ever had but, it is a beautiful place to live and there are some perks to a long, cold winter! Here are a few you may have forgotten…
1. You always have an excuse! Get out of stuff you don’t want to do! Just tell them the roads are too bad or your car won’t start.
2. You don’t have to shave your legs! You need that extra insulation to stay warm. Besides, shorts season won’t be here for at least another 5 months…or 6…or 7. Hell, it may still be snowing in July. And guys, grow that beard! It’s Grizzly Adams season.
3. More Sex! Hey, there isn’t much else to do. The two of you are stuck inside together, what are you going to do? Talk about your feelings?? Keep each other warm!
4. A free ticket to bitch! Everyone loves to complain about how cold it is and tell their survival story. They will gladly listen to you moan on and on too. Don’t you hate that old guy on the block that always asks “Is it cold enough for you?” No, actually it isn’t. I would like it to be -50 rather than just -30.
5. Delicious Food! We always rationalize our dinner selections by citing the temp outside. We NEED those soups, stews, casseroles and chili! This is a matter of survival!
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