Special Delivery


     newsYesterday, I received a letter in the mail from the local newspaper. They informed me that “As a valued customer, it was now time to make a payment.” Really? As a valued customer, could I actually receive a newspaper? Why is this complex? Isn’t this the job of an 11 year old boy?

Every morning as I sneak out in my jammies, two options lie ahead. Either I start the search and can find no paper anywhere. Or, I do locate the paper but I have to dig it out of a snowbank. Now it is soaked and I can’t read it anyway. When I call the newspaper to complain, they offer me the option of receiving a copy of today’s paper, tomorrow. How does that help? I reluctantly agree and the following morning, the search begins. As I give the neighbors plumber’s crack, I look everywhere and surprise, I haven’t received either paper.

On the rare mornings that a paper does get delivered, they have driven right up on the sidewalk to get it here even though we are half a block in. I guess I should just stop complaining and face the reality that even if the paper arrived daily, I would rarely read it. Doesn’t everyone get their news online these days anyway? So let’s see, what celebrity death hoax made the headlines this week?

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